Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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