I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
