I'm going to jail i love you
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
