I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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