I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
