Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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