They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
