Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
