Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize