omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
