Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
