she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?