im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize