craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
