I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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