she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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