okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
