You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
