Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
