Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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