My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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