It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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