please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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