put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
