Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
