Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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