Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
