Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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