1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
