I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
