You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
