Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
