haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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