bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
