I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
