When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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