Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
