I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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