didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
zippers are such a cool invention
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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