I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize