Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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