I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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