do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
