after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
