I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
