imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
