I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she peed on how many people?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
