No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
