i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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