Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
