I wish life had little blips of pornography
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
