I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
