She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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