I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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