im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
