I bet he comes in French.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
