So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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