This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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