i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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