Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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