operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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