I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
